


Into the Rose Garden

by nekosmuse_archive (nekosmuse)



Category: Lost
Genre: Developing Relationship, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:34:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23534632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nekosmuse/pseuds/nekosmuse_archive
Summary: Written pre 2005. Posted for archival purposes.She spends her days watching the other and trying to remember how to breathe.
Relationships: Claire Littleton/Shannon Rutherford
Kudos: 4





	Into the Rose Garden

**Author's Note:**

> Side parings include: Claire/Kate, Kate/Sawyer, Charlie/Hurley and reference to (unrequited) Boone/Jack, Shannon/Sun, Charlie/Claire

They were on the beach a day the first time Claire spoke to her.

Idle conversation about bodies and babies and Shannon wishes she could remember what it was like to have Claire smile at her. The conversation didn't last long, Shannon's entire body screaming disinterest and she knows she was less than friendly. Unwelcoming, even, but it was hardly her fault. They were going to be rescued, at any moment, and the last thing she needed was to make friends with people she'd never see again.

She regretted not trying harder on the ninth day.

On the ninth day the reality of their situation sunk in and she realized there wasn't a boat just over the horizon. A plane wasn't going to magically appear in the sky above her and she thought, not for the first time, about what it might be like to die alone. She knew, technically, people were still in the process of forming bonds, that it would be easy to just cross over to the other side of the camp and start up a conversation. She wanted to, but something kept stopping her and by the time the second week started bleeding into the third, she was almost used to the loneliness.

She had Boone, most of the time, but Boone spent the majority of his day mooning over Jack and she's never really liked him when he was pining. Sun comes to see her every day, to check on her breathing and sometimes she mixes more of that stuff that Shannon swears must be some kind of Asian miracle. She likes Sun. Sun's pretty and sweet and her fingers feel so good pressing into Shannon's chest.

But Sun also frightens her, because she never really makes eye contact and she's always glancing over her shoulder. Staring at the man that Shannon assumes must be her husband; although, for all she knows, he could be her brother, and wouldn't that be ironic. Sun never stays, though, so Shannon tries not to think about her often. Instead she concentrates on her breathing and watches the others struggle to find their place in the group.

Kate's a bitch. She's known that right from day one, but it doesn't stop her from wondering what Kate would be like to fuck. She pictures Kate as one of those reserved girls, holding everything in until the pressure finally becomes too much. She imagines those wall falling, the flash of light in Kate's eyes as Kate finally gives in and lets herself go. Shannon's not certain she could handle unrestrained Kate. She's not certain anyone could.

There are other girls. Pretty girls with pretty smiles and skin so soft Shannon's fingers ache to touch. She doesn't talk to them, much, mostly because she knows the only reason they talk to her is to get to Boone. She's tempted to tell them all they don't stand a chance, but she doesn't. She's not that cruel, despite what people think.

Claire, on the other hand, hasn't once glanced at Boone. Shannon should know; she spends a lot of time watching Claire. Claire doesn't really talk to anyone, except Charlie and Kate. Shannon can tell Charlie's got a bit of a crush on her, but she sees the way Claire looks at him. Like a fond younger brother and it almost makes Shannon feel sorry for him. Almost, because she's never felt sorry for anyone and she's not about to start now.

She feels sorry for herself when she sees the way Claire looks at Kate, though. It's that shy, head bent forward, cheeks stained with red kind of look and Shannon's been around long enough to know what it means. She doesn't really get it, because it's pretty obvious Kate's going to end up with Jack, or Sawyer, or maybe even Sayid and it just figures Kate would have bad taste in men. She doesn't deserve Claire's attention.

Shannon tries not to scowl as she watches Claire settle at Kate's side and strike up a conversation.

~*~

Jealousy doesn't become a lady.

It's something her mother once told her, long before she gave up actually listening to her mother. She knows it's true, though, so she tries not to let herself get jealous. It doesn't work all the time, but she's good at hiding it, so she figures she's still technically following her mother's advice.

She doesn't even really know why she's jealous, because Claire's only smiled at her that one time and it's not like she intends to start something here. Certainly not around all these men who would just love to catch a glimpse of two women tearing each others' clothes off.

She thinks maybe it's just because she's tired, hungry and worn out and watching Kate and Claire laugh over whatever it is they're laughing over reminds her that she's not very good at making friends. She's not even certain she can call them friends, because the looks that pass between them speak of heat and caring and she hates that she was wrong about Kate.

Perfect, pretty, popular Kate and if they were anywhere else, Kate would be falling all over herself for Shannon's attention. Not that she'd want Kate's attention, but she also doesn't want Kate giving her attention to Claire and the whole thing is so complicated her chest hurts.

Her chest always hurts. That tight, tingling pain that comes just before an asthma attack and, so far, she's been lucky it hasn't gone any further. Sun's doing, she knows, and it's driving her crazy that she can't decide on a face to focus on when she closes her eyes at night.

Her fantasies alternate between the three. Sometimes it's Sun, eyes expressive for once and Shannon likes the way her hands shake as she reaches out to touch. Sometimes it's Kate, biting her lip to keep from screaming until Shannon twists a nipple particularly hard. Then she doesn't stop screaming. And sometimes it's Claire, belly full and rounded in a way that shouldn't be sexy but is. Claire's always soft and gentle, her touch caressing and when Shannon comes, Claire catches Shannon's cries with her tongue.

Shannon hasn't masturbated this much since she lived in the all girls dormitory in college.

~*~

She feels moisture pooling between her legs even before Sun touches her.

Sun doesn't notice, can't notice, and Shannon's not about to mention it so she closes her eyes, leaning back against the rough face of the rock as cold dampness hits her chest. Sun's gentle as ever, fingers kneading deep, rubbing in small circles and every time she inches beneath the collar of Shannon's tank top, Shannon wills her to go just a little bit lower. She wants Sun to cup her breasts, rub with that same firm tenderness until Shannon's panting and squirming beneath her.

And she thought Boone was the family slut.

Sun never does, alternating between rubbing her concoction into Shannon's chest and pressing her fingers under Shannon's nose. Shannon likes the scent, it reminds her of a day spa she used to frequent, back when life was simple and there were luxuries to be had.

Almost as soon as Sun appears she's leaving, mumbling something in whatever language it is she speaks --Korean, Shannon recalls-- before slipping back to the far side of the caves. For a moment, Shannon just stays where she is, staring up at the cave ceiling and breathing. Deep, soothing breaths that calm, not just her lungs, but her racing heart as well. She misses physical contact.

~*~

Boone finds them.

He tells her, because he tells her everything, and Shannon can't help but laugh. Her laughter fades a moment later, because she knows Claire will be hurt and, even though she's tried very hard not to give a damn about anyone, the thought of Claire crying twists her stomach into knots.

She should have known, though, because Kate's been making eyes with Sawyer pretty much the entire time they've been here and she knew it was just a matter of time. Still, it angers her, because she can't understand why Kate would go running to that asshole when she had this perfect, soft little creature at her disposal.

Shannon thinks maybe she's been out in the sun too long.

Because she's never been one for flowery phrases and she's certainly never referred to anyone as a soft creature. But it describes Claire perfectly, so she's not about to correct herself. Besides, it's not like anyone knows what's going on inside her head.

Boone's still talking, sounding almost as excited as she feels and it takes her a moment to realize he's hoping Kate and Sawyer hooking up clears the way to Jack. Shannon's not so sure, because Jack doesn't seem like the sort to get mixed up in an island romance. She doesn't tell him that, though, because they're both running low on hope and the last thing she wants to do is take that away from Boone.

~*~

Claire goes into labour in the middle of the night.

She wakes up screaming, waking the entire camp in the process and Shannon's running before she remembers that she's not supposed to care. Jack beats her there, hovering at Claire's side and it's not until Shannon realizes what's going on that she finally stops panicking.

Eventually everyone else leaves, heading back to try to sleep. She doubts they will; Claire's cries are loud enough to wake the entire island. Charlie stays, along with Hurley and Shannon doesn't miss the look that passes between them. She's not sure how she didn't see it sooner, but it's there, as bright as the sun and she can't help but grin at them.

They don't notice, and when Boone settles next to her, his gaze never once leaving Jack, Shannon gives up trying to be subtle and moves to Claire's side.

"Shannon, you need to give me some space," Jack says, tone professional and Shannon can't help but wonder what Boone sees in him.

"I went with my cousin to her Lamaze classes," Shannon explains, and even though she doubts she remembers any of it, Jack seems impressed.

He nods, the matter instantly settled and Shannon struggles not to cry out when Claire grips her hand, squeezing hard enough to shift bones.

~*~

Claire alternates between sleeping and breast feeding.

It's odd, domestic in a way Shannon didn't expect to ever see in her lifetime. It's not bad, though, just different and even after three days, Shannon hasn't felt the need to leave Claire's part of the cave. She feels like she's hovering, staying just outside Claire's personal space without actually leaving Claire's side.

Claire's started smiling at her again. Small, weak smiles that remind Shannon of just how close she came to dying. Just how close the small child in her arms came to dying and Shannon has to look away to block out the memory. Only for a moment, and then Claire's handing her the baby, letting her hold it awkwardly while Claire settles down to sleep, again.

It's the first time anyone's trusted Shannon with a baby, and Shannon can't help but think that that must mean something. Like maybe there's something starting between them and Shannon can't help but wonder what will happen when someone eventually does find them.

It's funny, because she spent the better part of a month hoping someone would rescue them. Now she almost hopes they don't.

~*~

The others have taken to calling her auntie Shannon. She hates the name.

Except when Claire says it, the words rolling off her tongue in that accent that makes Shannon's knees weak. Claire's teasing her about it the first time Shannon kisses her. She doesn't mean to, and she certainly wasn't planning on it. But then Claire's laughing, calling her auntie Shannon and before Shannon can stop herself, she's leaning forward, pressing their lips together and it's not until Claire shivers that Shannon realizes what she's done.

She pulls back thinking she should apologize, maybe make some excuse about the heat or lack of water, but then Claire's smiling at her again, head tilting to one side and all Shannon wants to do is kiss her again.

"I was wondering when you were going to get around to doing that," Claire says, licking her lips and Shannon can't help but roll her eyes for not noticing sooner.

She doesn't answer, instead inching forward, kissing Claire softer this time, letting her tongue slide into Claire's mouth until she can taste the hint of plantains they ate for breakfast.

This time Claire kisses her back and Shannon could kick herself for waiting so long.


End file.
